These Two Have A New Baby

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Baby Names, Miscellaneous, jennifer-garner

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Jennifer Garner released a baby into this black-hearted world sometime this afternoon. Jen and Ben already have a toothy 3-year-old they call Violet. Jennifer’s spokesbitch told People , ” Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck gave birth to a healthy baby girl.” The bitch did not fess up a name . I’m really hoping they name their girl something meaningful. I’m thinking JLo ? Or maybe Fishsticks ? Or maybe Band-Aid ? Or SavaMarriage ? And if they are going to keep with the flower tradition, they better pick a hot flower name like Baby’s Breath, Goldenrod, Honeysuckle, Morning Glory or Petunia. But knowing these two boring boiled rutabagas, they gave her a memaw name like Rose, Ethel, Bertha, Gertrude or Myrtle. Oh shit. I really hope they named her Ethel. Nobody names their baby Ethel anymore! Come to think of it, nothing is named Ethel anymore. The next time you bring a baby, dog, cat, plant, rodent, cockroach, fish, homeless person or hooker into your home, you have to name them Ethel. The name must be kept alive!

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Fashion Finds: Blake Lively

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Blake Lively, Miscellaneous, fashion-finds

Get Blake Lively’s entire look for less than $240. Click thumbnail to view the look for less. To submit your own Fashion Find request, click here . New York & Co . - Coat- $64.97 Nordstrom - Dress- $45.90 Fossil - Scarf- $29.99 Dillard’s - Gloves- $22.80 Anthropologie - Tights- $12.50 Piperlime - Boots- $59.99 Fashion Finds read more

Carrie Underwood Has A New Boyfriend

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Carrie Underwood, Mike Fisher, Miscellaneous, out and about

American Idol winner and country music superstar Carrie Underwood reportedly has a new guy in her life: NHL player Mike Fisher ! Carrie was spotted in a VIP booth with some of Mike’s relatives at one of his games last Saturday evening. Although Mike, a center for the Ottawa Senators, declined to say anything when asked for a comment, his fitness trainer, Tony Greco, was more forthcoming. ‘ I think it’s serious , I mean he’s really happy with her. They’re a perfect match,’ said Mr. Greco. The pair reportedly met last spring after Mike attended one of Carrie’s concerts in Canada last March. They began dating soon afterwards. This couple has certainly stayed under the radar! Photos by Bauer Griffin

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If I Got Sued Every Time I Called A Skank A Skank……

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Dumbasses, Miscellaneous, SKANKS

If someone calls me a ” skank ,” I respond with, ” Why, thank you. ” Not Liskula Cohen . That skank bitch responds with a lawsuit! Liskula is a 36-year-old model who has worked for Vogue, Giorgio Armani and Versace. One of Liskula’s arch rivals started a blogged called SKANKS in NYC devoted to trashing her. The blog’s 5 posts, all made back in August, features pictures of Liskula acting like a slut (I didn’t say skank). The anonymous blogger also wrote such gems as: ” I would have to say that the first place award for “Skankiest in NYC” would have to go to Liskula Gentile Cohen. How old is this skank? 40 something? She’s a psychotic, lying, whoring, still going to clubs at her age, skank .” Liskula filed a lawsuit in Manhattan court to force Google and Blogger to reveal the identity of the bitch who thinks she’s the #1 skank in NYC. She told the NYDN , ” I t’s petty, it’s stupid and it’s pathetic. And when I do find out who did this, at least I’ll know who my enemies are. ” This fucking pisses me off! I fuck my ass off to be called the #1 Skank in NYC and this ho doesn’t even want the title! Fuck! What the hell is a skank supposed to do?! How can I out-stank NYC’s #1 Skank?! And by the way, when I use the words ” skank, whore, bitch, slut, cunt, skeezer, heifer, etc…, ” I don’t mean it the way everyone means it. What I really mean is that you are a fine person with pure genitals and the highest of morals. So you don’t have to worry about calling your lawyer. You stupid SKANK!

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(Insert Title Here, Add Links Below)

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Miscellaneous, Spicy Links

Billie Piper has the biggest nips you’ve ever seen - DSF Kristin Cavallari confuses the 70s with the 80s - BST Katy Perry trying desperately to be hot - UMC Tell me, how did Amy Winehouse land this piece of ass? - HM Simon Cowell likes boinking exotic women - CB Bada Bing, bitch! - ABH Proof Courtney Love is high again - WB Oh no, Sanjaya sings. - EB Gawd, I hate the Real Housewives of OC - POTO Like every other celeb couple, Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell had twins - PT The City recap - BBB Alyssa Milano is engaged to some goofy looking dude - POP Paris Hilton and George Clooney?! Haha, just kidding! - CR Verne Troyer is a sex addict and his ex is an attention whore - Y! Dude looks like a lady, and a hot one -at that! PB Lindsay says she and Sam are still munching each other’s carpets - TB WTF! - DSF Become a fan of Celebrity Smack on Facebook! - LINK Follow Spicy on Twitter! - LINK ______________ The Assumption Song Proof that you really don’t know everything.. See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today’s Big Thing . Past Smacks Making Fun of Brody Jenner and His New Reality Show Hilary & Haylie Duff on New Years Nicole Richie and Joel Madden on the Beach Juicy Blind Items Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves in WeHo

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Afternoon Links

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Links, Melanie Brown, Miscellaneous

Melanie Brown signed copies of her new exercise DVD, Totally Fit , in London, England. Check out what my cyber friends are writing about. Some diet trends should not be followed. (Fit Celeb) Josh Brolin used his awards win as free license to speak his mind about his celebrity colleagues. (Popeater) Why has Pete Wentz stopped reading blogs? (F-listed) TMI! Paris Hilton talks about the number of men she’s slept with. (Celebitchy) Does Penelope Cruz look so great on the red carpet that she’s distracting? (Derek Hail) Check out Madonna’s Louis Vuittan ads! (ICYDK) Rupaul’s ready to show you how to put the bass in your walk. (Popbytes) Is Kate Hudson judgmental? (Grumpiest) Hef has found a third girlfriend: are you surprised? (Us Weekly) See what Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want for their trip to Colombia. (Lossip) Rosario Dawson lights up the red carpet! (Popoholic) Do you like lace ? Hopefully you fashionistas do because it’s another 2009 trend! (INO Shopping/Beauty) Photos by WENN read more

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J Love And Fiance Are Dunzo Too

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Jennifer Love Hewitt, Miscellaneous

Hot damn. It just doesn’t get any better than this. In the same day both Lindsay Lohan AND J Love come back on the market. Not that I am all that thrilled about Jennifer Love Hewitt being single again. Ever since those cellulite photos her career has pretty much gone downhill from there. Here are some pictures of her stuffing her fat face. Some girls can eat all they want and not gain any weight. Kind of like super woman Paris Hilton. But with others, it goes straight to their thighs. As we look at the future Rosie O’Donnell J Love let us reflect on the many possibilities of her bachelorhood. She will more than likely turn to food to comfort her. She will get some bad press and then lose the weight to regain good press. She will probably have a little rebound sex and when that happens I will write about it. She will then find someone who wants to “settle down.” And usually when a guy hears the words “settle down” it means it is a fairly easy way to get in her pants. All it takes is three words. I love you. After that it’s bang time baby. Then she will gain weight. Lose weight. And then maybe she will finally find a decent guy out there who knows how to hide a camera and thn we will have a sex tape. I just hope the filming takes place on her “fit” days and not some massive jiggly skinned cellulite monster bobbing up and down on a guys cock. [ Images via ] Source The City recap- IBBB Zhang Ziyi is topless- Drunken Stepfather Sanjaya is releasing a book and a cd- Allie Is Wired Jenny McCarthy in a bikini- yeeeah Rihanna is engaged- popbytes Cute college girl of the day- College Humor Courtney Love looks freaky- Celebrity Dirty Laundry Aubrey O’Day is heading to Playboy- Geno’s World Bianca Beauchamp in her bedroom- Attu World Random Posts La Lohan Got Floured Gillian Anderson Wants To Believe She’s Pregnant American Baldy O.J. Simpson is Screwed

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Crystal Harris: Hugh Hefner’s New Fame Whore

January 6, 2009 | Filed Under Attention Whores, Hugh Hefner, Miscellaneous, Playboy

Hugh Hefner, 82, cannot live by twins alone, oh no, so meet his latest addition to the Playboy family, Ms. Crystal Harris. Harris, 22, has been seen by Hef and the twins’ side at events and in numerous photographs, but was clearly overshadowed by the younger, wilder, Shannon twins, Karissa and Kristina. Crystal claims that Hef has given her “the go” on publicly announcing that she is the third wheel girlfriend of the Playboy mogul’s. She says, “Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion.” A voice? So that’s what they call it these days.. Crystal also wants everyone to think that she is a sweet, young thing. And even goes as far as to call herself “a good girl” on her MySpace page. Last I checked, “good girls” don’t sleep with billionaire 82-year-old’s for money and fame…gah. The former Co-ed of the Week on Playboy.com also bestows us with other vast pearls of knowledge such as, “I believe in opening your heart and letting your walls down, it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.” Walls = legs, right? Related Smacks Hef’s Twins Hit the Town Hef’s Twins, More Spice Than Sugar Hef Doubles His Pleasure Holly Madison: Hef and I Aren’t Together! Lindsay Lohan Turns Down $700K Playboy Spread

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