Nicole Richie is four months pregnant with Joel Madden’s demon spawn

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Nicole Richie

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nicole richie is pregnant

In what comes as a shock to absolutely no one, Nicole Richie has confirmed that she is four months pregnant with Good Charlotte band member Joel Madden’s baby. From ABC News:

In an exclusive television interview with ABC News’ Diane Sawyer, Nicole Richie confirms for the first time she is pregnant with Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden’s baby.

“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” Richie told Sawyer.

Wow, whoopdee shit. We all knew about this before Nicole did, and now she’s going to be one pregnant jail bitch as she serves her colossal four day sentence. I can’t see the daddy sticking around and this baby is going to live in a pretty lame little world.

Just imagine… Whoops! Who’d have thought you can’t substitute Coffee Mate for baby formula?? Giggle!

Popularity: 10% [?]

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Colin Farrell donated $100,000 to a Uruguayan school and gasp didn’t do it for the media attention

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Colin Farrell

colin farrell is a very nice man

Colin Farrell is apparently much more of a humanitarian than you, me, or anyone else has ever thought of him. Celebslam dropped the good word today that the former Hollywood badass donated $100,000 to a Uruguayan school in 2005 and word only recently got around about it:

Apparently Colin Farrell donated $100,000 to this Uruguayan school to help buy computers, new toilets, and other stuff, way back in December of 2005 but the news only recently surfaced. In other words, he didn�t issue an immediate press release *cough*angelinajolie*cough*. If you�re scoring at home, that makes Colin Farrell better than all of us. Especially you. What, you don�t think I know about that one thing you did that one night back in college? Gross man, just gross.

Just imagine all of the good that could come about if only most “celebrities” (Hi Lindsay!!) donated 10% of the time they waste on being complete shitheads to doing something positive like this for the world.

Then again, who would keep us filled with entertaining stories of cute young girls flushing their lives down the toilet? Here’s a few more of Colin showing the kids a good time. Amazing… positive news on here for once.

Popularity: 9% [?]

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WHATCHU TALKIN’ BOUT? Gary Coleman cited for Disorderly Conduct in Utah for assaulting his steering wheel

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Gary Coleman

whatchu talkin bout!!!

Diff’rent Strokes actor and all around badass Gary Coleman was cited for disorderly conduct in Provo, Utah for – and get this – getting angry and hitting his steering wheel. NO SHIT:

One of Utah County’s more famous transplants has run afoul of the law. Provo police cited actor Gary Coleman for disorderly conduct after witnesses said they saw him having a heated discussion with a woman last Friday evening.

Passers-by told police Coleman’s temper was rising and he was hitting the steering wheel of his vehicle. The witnesses were concerned and called police.

When officers arrived, Coleman, known for his role in the TV series “Diff’rent Strokes,” calmed down. He was issued a misdemeanor citation for disorderly conduct.

Coleman moved to Santaquin in 2005, around the time he starred in “Church Ball” an LDS-genre movie filmed in Utah County.

Be fucking damned if I’m ever even setting foot in that Mormonized dump. You can get charged for losing your temper? Shit, the man hit his STEERING WHEEL. It’s not like the steering wheel is apt to press charges. I lose my temper all god damned day at the drivers around here, at work, at all the random idiots and seniors that cross my path… pretty much everyone. I hit things a lot less sturdy than my steering wheel on a pretty regular basis.

It’s good to know that in Utah you can get charged for getting angry and hitting your steering wheel but HEY! it’s all good if you want to have multiple wives and engage in polygamy. Because that’s religion, and religion is always right. Right?

Gary: this is what you get for living in LDS-Land. Do the right thing and get the fuck out of that giant cult compound they call a state and move somewhere reasonable. Shit anywhere but Utah, dude! What the fuck were you thinking?

Popularity: 7% [?]

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Britney Spears finalizes divorce, manages 50/50 custody, does pole dance to celebrate

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears breasts

Britney Spears has finalized her divorce with Kevin Federline and has somehow managed joint custody of her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Congrats to Mama Spears and thankfully she hasn’t cleaned up her trailer ways at all. She’s still a MILF and be damned if anyone is going to tell us here at downity.com otherwise! From The Superficial:

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s divorce was finalized in court yesterday. According to the terms of the divorce, K-Fed will get $15,000 a month from Britney for child support and an additional $20,000 a month in spousal support (which is based on the prenup and will end in November). Britney and Kevin agreed to keep the custody of the children 50/50, although either can go back and ask the judge to change the terms.

Here she is shooting her new video, and of course it involves pole dancing. Why wouldn’t it? I wouldn’t be surprised if Brit could give a clinic on all things stripper.

Britney – you can come dance on this pole anytime, baby. Shit, bring the kids, make a trip of it… there’s no paparazzi in Canada! There’s no famous people here either, but that’s besides the point.

Popularity: 14% [?]

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Hayden Panettiere bikini pictures! LOADS OF THEM! Woohoo!!

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Hayden Panettiere

hayden panettiere bikini pictures

Oh hell yeah! Thank whoever you need to that summer isn’t over and that we can be blessed with more shots of the lovely (and 18 in 3 weeks!!) Hayden Panettiere.

We find the little tart once again at Malibu with boyfriend Stephen Colletti and also some random old-ish dude with a trailer. Which is just how I picture myself in the future: old, creepy, and having hot ass 18 year olds leaving my trailer smiling.

Oh yeah, nothing like being the dirty old guy. I already have my Airstream picked out! Move over McConaughey, you overtanned bastard!

There’s a shitload more pics of Miss Hayden after the jump. Do the right thing and check them all out. Your pubescent hormonal surges will thank you.

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Popularity: 15% [?]

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Eva Longoria’s steamy pictures from Russian FHM! Na Zdorovje!

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Eva Longoria

eva longoria pictures

Here’s Desperate Housewives star (and finally a housewife herself!) Eva Longoria looking absolutely terrific for the Russian edition of FHM. For some reason these pictures don’t look as much like Eva Longoria as previous ones we’ve seen but shit, who are we to care?

So, downity.com presents to you either Eva Longoria or someone that looks like Eva Longoria! Enjoy.

Popularity: 11% [?]

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Brittany Snow has sex with everyone in upcoming flick Black Water Transit

July 30, 2007 | Filed Under Brittany Snow

brittany snow sex with everyone

Hairspray’s Brittany Snow revealed in the August issue of Vegas that her character, Sardoonah, basically wears nothing the entire movie and screws everyone in sight:

Hairspray actress Brittany Snow has been a bad, bad girl. In the upcoming drama Black Water Transit, Snow breaks out of her wholesome box to play the role of a troubled prostitute. �Basically, I have sex with everybody in the movie. I wear nothing the entire time,� Snow, 21, reveals in the August issue of Vegas Magazine, on newsstands August 1st.

This is absolutely fine with us here at downity.com. As a matter of fact, we’re all eyes and all hopes that Brittany will actually appear nude in this movie, but it’s not likely to happen. With four films coming out in 2007/2008 she’s a hot Hollywood commodity at the moment and generally it takes either a career needing a spark or a career in the tank to see some titties up on the screen.

Ah well, here’s what we’ve got for now. But catch Black Water Transit when it his theatres later this year… you just never know.

Popularity: 12% [?]

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Scarlett Johansson will won’t play porn star Jenna Jameson in her upcoming biopic

July 30, 2007 | Filed Under Jenna Jameson, Scarlett Johansson

scarlett johansson pictures

UPDATE: Christ, this is the 2nd story in as many days that has been debunked. HOW ABOUT SOMEONE TELLS THE MEDIA THE TRUTH FOR FUCKS SAKES?!? I guess you can’t expect that from a porn star. Update from People (original story below):

Despite circulating reports and Jenna Jameson’s hopes that the actress is just the right mix of sexy and mysterious, Scarlett Johansson will not portray the porn star in the film adaptation of her autobiography.

“Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this project,” says a rep for the actress. “She also has no interest in playing this role.”

Well I can’t think of much better news to report than Scarlett Johansson playing the world’s most prolific porn star in the upcoming movie based on Jenna Jameson’s ghostwritten “autobiography” entitled How to Make Love to a Porn Star. While I have no doubt in my mind that any nudity in the movie will be body-doubled, it still makes me tingle to think of Scarlett playing a meth addicted anorexic vacuum pussy that screws her way to the top of the porn food chain. From Starpulse:

Hollywood beauty Scarlett Johansson has landed the lead role in the x-rated biopic of the world’s biggest porn star. The 22-year-old was personally picked by Jenna Jameson to chart her transformation from ballet dancer to stripper, before making it big in the adult film industry.

Jameson says of her casting, “I tapped up Scarlett for the part and I’m very excited about the film.

“It was my decision not to play the role because I’ve lived that tale already and anyone can play themselves.”

Here’s some pictures of Scarlett being much more plain, clothed, and fleshy than Jenna Jameson. Which is a very, very good thing as Jenna is currently looking like a cross between a Darfur refugee and a Dachshund.