MTV has released the nominees and performers for the 2007 Video Music Awards, live on Sunday, September 9th, to be hosted by Timbaland, and here they are!

Scheduled to perform are: Lily Allen, Chris Brown, Fall Out Boy (maybe they’ll mass suicide on stage and put us out of their misery), Foo Fighters, Rihanna (ella, ella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, SOMEONE CHANGE THE FUCKING STATION ALREADY), Timbaland, Kanye West and Amy Winehouse.

And just for the fun of it, here are a couple of categories and nominees:

Best Group

• Fall Out Boy (great, somehow emo is STILL popular

• Gym Class Heroes (who?)
• Linkin Park (booooring, this category sure sucks)
• Maroon 5 (sigh)
• The White Stripes

Wow, a real piece of shit that category is. Let’s see what else they have on offer…

Male Artist of the Year

• Akon (Excellent. He should win just for tossing that kid off his stage)

• Robin Thicke (yep… the son of MISTUH SEAVUH on Growing Pains
• T.I.
• Justin Timberlake (nominated for 7 VMAs)
• Kanye West (nominated for 5, surely to complain that the white Mr. Timberlake isn’t as deserving of 7 nominations and that it’s Bush’s fault that he didn’t get more than 5)

And of course, here are the femmes:

Female Artist of the Year

• Beyoncé (nominated for 7 VMAs)

• Fergie (just bag her face and we’re all set)
• Nelly Furtado (homegrown British Columbian slut! Has a child with one producer, is now dating another. GO NELLY!)
• Rihanna (we’re sure that murders have been committed over that annoying-as-shit Umbrella song. DIE)
• Amy Winehouse (Amy would have liked to be here to collect this award tonight, but she’s out getting royally pissed drunk, not eating and wolfing down handfuls of random pills. She would like to thank none of you and you can all piss off.)

All the rest of the madness is located right here. Get your fill.

In case you missed it, above is Homer Simpson’s monologue on the Tonight Show last night and below is a video circulating around of Beyonce falling down the steps on stage as she’s performing in Orlando, Florida. It’s no wonder either, since she’s headbanging like she’s on stage with fucking Pantera. Nice one!