Britney Spears’ PR campaign for her new album is working… so are those blue mesh panties

September 28, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears, Joey Fatone

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It seems like Britney Spears’ PR campaign for her new album is working. The only issue we see is that it’s making her out to be a trailer trash, lowlife drug addict alcoholic parent that hates the fact she has kids.

First, the Rag is reporting that she’s been taking Ecstasy to get high and Ativan to bring her back down:

The source revealed: “It was one of Britney’s friends saying he’d seen Britney take four Ecstasy pills in the bedroom of a Hollywood Hills home during a party on August 11.

“Lynne was also told that Britney has done the drug more recently – and she’s taken Ativan, an anti-anxiety medication, to help her come down because the Ecstasy was so intense. Lynne put down the phone and froze.”

Well, whatever. I know parents that do E from time to time, although 4 caps of it is a little excessive. You’d think someone with Britney’s kind of money and connections could get some pure, intense, melt your fucking socks E that would top you off around a cap or two.

It also seems that Brit has found some helpers to push her PR along. Joey Fatone either wants to help out or wants to pull Brit’s hair as he’s invited her to his place in Miami to chill out a bit. Check it:

Joey told US TV channel Extra: “Britney, call me, come over to my house, come to Orlando, get away from it all. It’s a good thing to get out of Los Angeles.

“I think she just needs some time, some time to really heal. If you’re there, let me know. I’m here for you, sweetheart.”

BRITNEY! Fuck that dude, come on up to Canada. We’ll get you on a BC weed program and you’ll be relaxed and mellowed out before you know it. Plus you’ll have Mr. Downity to provide you with some “therapy”.

Here’s the latest pics of Mama Britney we could find. We can’t figure out if her look is improving or declining lately. We’d still it it though… hit it with the fury of an angry god. Enjoy.

Popularity: 97% [?]

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Britney Spears plans a comeback at the MTV VMAs; this should be interesting

September 7, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears is making a comeback at the MTV VMAs

MTV has confirmed that Britney Spears will be performing Gimme More as the opening act at the MTV Video Music Awards. From Reuters:

MTV said on Thursday that Spears, 25, who has been a frequent tabloid fixture due to a tumultuous divorce and erratic behavior, will be performing her new song “Gimme More” at the awards show in Las Vegas.

Spears released “Gimme More,” her first new song in years, on the Web last week. The song is a clubby dance track produced by Danja, a protege of hit-maker Timbaland, and opens with the line “It’s Britney, bitch!” MTV said it was a track from an album due to be released on November 13.

Rumors have persisted that Spears, who is trying to resurrect a career that made her the world’s highest profile pop star just a few years ago, would perform at the show.

“After weeks of mind-blowing media speculation, MTV confirms today that Britney Spears will be opening the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards,” MTV said in a statement that billed the performance as her “long awaited comeback.”

I’m not sure if I want her to succeed or not. Are we bored enough with things that we need to take her back? She’s been nuttier than a fruitcake lately and that’s without a hugely successful music career. Does she have what it takes to get her looks, body and everything else up to snuff and back to drop dead sexyness?

We sure as fuck hope so. Now prove it to us, Britney!

Popularity: 12% [?]

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Listen to Britney Spears’ new single Gimme More right here!

August 30, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears, Video

britney spears gimme more single download

Britney Spears is back in the house and pretty soon, she’ll be back on your radio, in your iPod and all over your MTV / MuchMusic / etc. Welcome home, Britney!

Today Gimme More was leaked to PerezHilton and TMZ, but somehow we managed to get a hold of the song through our network of sources (actually, we downloaded it from Perez but so the fuck what?) and we bring it to you here. Hit it up on the flash player below.

What do YOU think? Love it? Hate it? Can’t wait to shake your ass to it after drinking fourteen mojitos and blowing the dude with the Hollister shirt?

Let us know in the comments, yo!

Popularity: 15% [?]

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Britney Spears is fat, drunk, topless, lonely, in a hottub, making out with music video extras… and losing her kids

August 8, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears nude hottub pictures

Well folks, we’re not entirely sure it’s possible to get through a day without having at least one to two stories to share with you about our favourite batshit crazy milf, Britney Spears. Today US Weekly went out with Britney on the cover, and the title “My Twisted Night With Brit” – a story where she gets drunk, naked in a hot tub and starts making out with some extra from her music video. Bear in mind, this is months ago now:

Onlookers watched in shock as Brit – who divorced KEVIN FEDERLINE days later – stripped at a hotel pool.

Brit swigged from a bottle of Jack Daniel�s and downed Mojito cocktails before flashing her breasts and playing a game of truth or dare.

American Mike kept his trunks on as straggly-haired Brit – who had a 1999 hit with Crazy – groped him.

Mike was an extra on the video shoot and says she later tried to seduce him in her hotel suite – while wearing nothing but a pair of pink pants.

He said: �I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on.

�She was looking like she was ready – and I wanted to finalise it.�

But he didn’t. Go read the rest of the story here if for some reason you care. Here are the supposedly “nude” pictures but you can’t see jack.

Of course, even though Britney somehow managed to win joint custody of her two children with Fed-Ex, he has said “fuck that!” and decided he’s filing for primary custody:

Kevin Federline has filed an order to show cause for primary physical custody of his two sons with ex-wife, Britney Spears, according to a source.

The documents were filed in Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday by Federline’s lawyer, according to the source.

Spears and Federline’s divorce was finalized less than two weeks ago. At the time, the couple agreed to split custody 50-50 of Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden James, 10 months.

But a source close to Federline told PEOPLE that the would-be-rapper was worried Spears was exposing the boys to “unnecessary risk” and that his lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, “hopes to get Kevin primary custody.”

And you know the sad thing? He’s going to get the kids, too. And then Brit will surely melt down, as if she’s not already! Britney’s new manager better get her ass in shape, and quick.

Popularity: 37% [?]

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Britney Spears crashes her car, blows off Allure

August 7, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

Britney Spears managed to crash her Mercedes into a parked car yesterday, and here’s a video of it for your enjoyment. Of course she immediately checks to see the damage on her car and completely ignores the one that she ran into. She doesn’t even leave a note, which is hilarious because you know the paparazzi are climbing all over each other at the chance to sell the info of the car’s owner or let the owner know they have proof it was Britney that hit their ride.

In other Britney news (I think we need to hire someone just to cover her) Britney blew off Allure magazine – which she was supposed to be on the cover of, in September – for no apparent reason. She skipped four appointments with the magazine, which in our experience tends to sour your chances for a cover:

According to ET Online, in her opening letter Allure Editor in Chief Linda says, “I thought we could present the profile as her comeback. Britney showed up for Allure’s cover shoot on time and ready to work. She was entirely unselfconscious: She took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason, before sitting for hair and makeup.”

Linda adds that Britney was “agreeable and cooperative,” but “that was the last we saw of her … she missed four appointments for an interview.” She goes on to say that “Britney has long lost her role-model status … Spears still commands our attention, perhaps even more so now than before her life imploded.”

That new manager sure is going to have his hands full. Good luck!

Popularity: 9% [?]

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Britney Spears is under new management

August 6, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears pictures

Britney Spears is still doing this on-again-off-again “career” business and has decided to sign an A-Level agent to represent her: Jeff Kwatinez. You may know Jeff from recent successes as “being fired by Kelly Clarkson” and “I made Leo DiCaprio richer than 30% of countries on Earth!”. TMZ reports:

Britz has hired uber-manager Jeff Kwatinez to help resurrect her dying career. Nurse! Code Blue!

We’re told Kwatinetz, CEO of The Firm, one of Hollywood’s most powerful agencies, is eager to get his hands on a charity case — and Britney’s a case, for sure. If he can pull off an image revamp for the trashtastic poptart, he’ll be considered a hero in Hollywood … and considered for sainthood by the Vatican! Good luck to him. Bring your own Taser!

Well he’s certainly up for a challenge taking on Britney Spears’ career “revitalization”. If she can get her head out of her ass for long enough to see that she’s doing more to destroy her career rather than build it, perhaps she will heed his well-experienced wisdom. Then again she’s just as likely to buy a hundred million avocados and offer to make guacamole for the entire population of Honduras. Here she is looking like herself, enjoy it if you’re into it…

Popularity: 13% [?]

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Britney Spears finalizes divorce, manages 50/50 custody, does pole dance to celebrate

July 31, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears breasts

Britney Spears has finalized her divorce with Kevin Federline and has somehow managed joint custody of her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Congrats to Mama Spears and thankfully she hasn’t cleaned up her trailer ways at all. She’s still a MILF and be damned if anyone is going to tell us here at downity.com otherwise! From The Superficial:

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s divorce was finalized in court yesterday. According to the terms of the divorce, K-Fed will get $15,000 a month from Britney for child support and an additional $20,000 a month in spousal support (which is based on the prenup and will end in November). Britney and Kevin agreed to keep the custody of the children 50/50, although either can go back and ask the judge to change the terms.

Here she is shooting her new video, and of course it involves pole dancing. Why wouldn’t it? I wouldn’t be surprised if Brit could give a clinic on all things stripper.

Britney – you can come dance on this pole anytime, baby. Shit, bring the kids, make a trip of it… there’s no paparazzi in Canada! There’s no famous people here either, but that’s besides the point.

Popularity: 14% [?]

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Apparently Britney’s massive breakdown at the OK! shoot uh… wasn’t

July 25, 2007 | Filed Under Britney Spears

britney spears isn't nuts today

In what appears to be much ado about selling magazines, it turns out that the media (shit i guess that means us) owes Britney a bit of an apology for jumping to conclusions. It would appear that OK! Magazine totally blew this shit out of proportion and now those clownfuckers owe us an apology. First, Jossip reports:

OK! has no Britney exclsuive [sic] photos and the interview�s bad�no real revelations. Sarah Ivens is trying to make herself look good in front of her bosses as her ass is on the line because sales are poor. Richard Desmond�s pumping millions into it but news stand sales struggle to get above 400,000. No one wants to advertise in the magazine. He�s losing patience with Ivens. She�s planning her exit strategy by putting out stories about herself.

Sigh. Well isn’t that a fucking doozy… real good idea to get magazine sales churning! Here’s the “juicy” part from OK! (none of which you didn’t hear about yesterday):

As OK! diligently prepared for the photo session, Britney and her dancer friends were in downtown Los Angeles shooting a music video, which reportedly cost Britney $30,000 of her own money. At approximately 10:30 a.m., Collazo received another call from Funk, who seemed frantic. There had been no wardrobe on the set of the video shoot and she wanted to make sure that OK! had clothes for our shoot. Collazo assured her, yet again, that OK! had a large selection of clothes on hand and reminded Funk that Britney was due to meet OK! at 12 p.m. But noon came and went with no sign of the pop star, who eventually rolled up at about 12:45 p.m. …

The wardrobe crew was informed that the high-end selection of clothing just wasn�t sexy � the items weren�t short enough or tight enough. The wardrobe team was then ushered out of the room so that Funk could take over as the stylist. After finding the first item of clothing that suited Britney�s tastes � a pink silk Alisha Levine dress valued at over $274 � Britney decided she was finally ready to sit down for her interview …

Just a few minutes into the conversation, though, the Louisiana native decided to break for lunch, sitting down to a catered meal of chicken and vegetables. But her decision to wear her silk outfit as she ate raised the eyebrows of our wardrobe coordinator, who requested that she not dine in the dress. Brit dismissively refused to take it off, and after consuming her meal, stood up and rubbed grease from her fingers into the front and back of the dress. It was ruined!

As if on cue, her new Yorkie puppy, London, followed suit by pooping on a $6,700 Zac Posen gown! Neither Britney or her assistant bothered to clean it up until the coordinator demanded it be taken care of, and Funk scooped up the mess with a tissue.

So the facts are Britney wiped her hands on a $274 dress and her brand new puppy (who obviously isn’t yet housetrained) dropped a small one on a gown, which someone cleaned with a tissue. If this isn’t a total flameout piece of shit then I don’t know what is.

Here’s a COMPLETE FUCK YOU to Sarah Ivens, and we here at downity.com hope you rot. LIAR! p.s. these below are pics of Brit from the shoot and apparently a sniper took them through a scope or something.