well, it turns out that a few days of personal coaching from yours truly was what calum best really needed to get his life in order. i mean who the hell wants to date royal fuckup lindsay lohan (and probably get killed when she crashes her car through your living room or some shit) when you could be railing coke off of a hooker’s ass cheeks while the other one rides the donkey?

well, turns out he took the words to heart and sped off to london where he was recently caught with hooker Casey James and a friend railing the shatstank out of both of them and boy was it snowing in May.

personally, i’ve seen poor calum take a lot of flak over this story (reported by the sun! – including a pic of the hooker, check it) which is a total crock of shit. YOU’RE ALL JEALOUS. not to mention if you think two hookers and a bit of blow are a bother you’d better not attend a party with a billboard 100 artist, you fricken teetotalers.

GO CALUM!!! p.s. email me bro, i’m in for NYC. bring on the hookers and blow!