Not that Christina Aguilera would ever be caught dead in something as cleavage covering as a sweater. XStina stepped out with her Geico caveman husband Jordan to have some dinner at Toscana and gave us a view of her pleasantly growing self.

Sorry we couldn’t get anything less-clothed for you sicko pregnant fetish people, but since this is Christina we’re talking about, you know it’s only a matter of time before we get to see some more skin.

Hurry it up, futureMILF!

Well maybe her breasts aren’t pregnant, but they sure are showing the signs of XStina being knocked up: they’re getting HUGE. Check out how much cleavage the music star is packing in these pictures… wow.

Of course, it’s all being exclusively enjoyed by her husband, who most guys detest out of sheer jealousy and most women look at and wonder what the fuck Christina is smoking. We’re willing to bet either the guy has Style or Mystery level game, or he’s hung like a gorilla. Which wouldn’t be all that far out there, considering his appearance.

Titties, oh titties. Enjoy.

Take this one with a teeny grain of salt as Christina herself hasn’t confirmed it yet, but InTouch Weekly and a couple of other sources are confirming that XStina definitely has a baby girl on the way.

According to IT apparently both XStina and Nicole Richie ended up having ultrasounds on the same day – July 25th – at the same hospital. Christina was on tour, but has been ordered into bed rest by her doctor after “contracting the flu” and the remainder of her tour dates are now cancelled.

Just FYI – we’re assuming that the Geico Caveman pictured above (her husband Jordan Bratman) is the father, which would make for one possibly ugly ass child. So, we could all be pretty pissed off in 2024 or so. Let’s hope for another hottie like Christina!

We’ll of course update you as soon as it’s official. But with the amount of rumblings for the last while, the belly bump pics, etc… you can consider this one 99% official anyway.

so here’s a picture of Hayden Panettiere looking beautiful. Who cares that the bird lady and monkey man’s wife are knocked up? Let’s just bask in the blond shorty’s beauty. Ahhh…

Christina Aguilera was at a press conference in China showing off her marvelous breasts (fake? not fake? I have no idea, I like them) that for some reason that monkey Jordan Bratman gets to fondle and I don’t. Just the thought that he’s nailing her makes me angry, jealous, and for some reason, hungry. Check out these pics of XStina while I go and make a sandwich. A chicken breast sandwich. GET IT??? HAHAHAHAHhahahahah.

….

The NYPOST Page Six Crew is reporting that XStina is “definitely” pregnant:

RUMORS that Christina Aguilera is expecting a baby “are definitely true,” according to a well-placed Page Six source. “She’s been telling friends,” said one snitch, who revealed, “she has to be three months now, because she’s announcing it.” This would be the first for Aguilera and her husband, Jordan Bratman.

Ahh… Jordan Bratman. We’re still all wondering how the fuck you pulled it off, dude. Amazing.

…by way of her husband, the Geico Caveman. I’m going to come right out and say it – this guy must have a serious wondercock to be railing Xstina. I mean take a look at the contrast of beauty in the picture above.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s hot. WHEN COMPARED TO A FOREST FULL OF HALF SHAVED ORANGUTANS WITH A HERPES OUTBREAK. I guess he’s really just Christina’s version of K-Fed eh? Oh yeah, the news part (thanks TMZ):

Casually dressed and sporting dark sunglasses, Xtina and hubby Jordan Bratman had their driver drop them off at NY’s Maternal Fetal Medicine Association — a practice known for their expertise in high-risk pregnancies and state-of-the-art ultrasounds. Guess we know what this girl wants!

Here’s some pics from the little tart’s latest shoot a la Versace: