Even though none of us have a remote chance in all hell of closing the deal, it’s still awesome to know that the delicious Elisha Cuthbert is single. OK! reports:

According to sources close to the pair, actress Elisha Cuthbert and her hockey playing beau Sean Avery have called it quits after almost two years together.

One pal of the ex couple says it was Elisha who pulled the plug on the relationship. But don’t feel bad for Sean, who didn’t appear to be brokenhearted about the breakup when he was spotted hitting on Elisha’s good friend Paris Hilton at the LG House in Malibu on Aug. 26. A partygoer tells OK!, “When you asked Sean where Elisha was he shrugged his shoulders and said they had broken up.” But for all his attempts at wooing the recent jailbird, Sean was not able to convince Paris to leave with him, saying she wouldn’t do that to Elisha and walked away.

Pals of the couple are left scratching their heads and one friend of Elisha’s says they’re hoping the two can work it out. “She’s a serial monogamist, jumping from one relationship to another.”

Reps for both Sean and Elisha have declined to comment on their clients’ personal life.

Wait, what the fuck is that. Reps declined to comment on their clients’ personal life??? ISN’T THAT YOUR JOB? What a waste of money half of these talent managers in Hollywood are. If you’re a rep, then give us some info. That’s what the star(let) is paying your ass to do.

I think we might need to start an agency and hire some of you crazy ass readers to manage our clients. Who should we close first? According to TV Anna Faris needs a manager!

…as Hillary Rodham Clinton. Holy shiat! I guarantee if Billy Boy is checking these pics out, he’s drooling just as much as I am.

Question: If these pictures make me want to wank, does that make me a Democrat?

Thankfully, even MORE after the jump. Woohoo! Elisha… date me! I’m the only male gossip weblog writer that likes girls! (note: I’m not actually sure if that’s true)

well, well… here’s fellow Canadian hottie Elisha Cuthbert looking absolutely deeeelicious at some fashion show. i could probably read the name of the show off the backgrounds, but i’m too busy staring at her eyes. YEAH I SAID IT, I HAPPEN TO LIKE HER EYES. not that her eyes take any of my attention off of her boobies.

although i have to admit, this dress is a little less than flattering. if this was lindsay lohan the dress would be at least 38% less fabric, have some white powder stains and probably man juice somewhere on them. and there would be a hideous lesbian DJ sidekick somewhere in the shot burning up the last of her 15 minutes. ohhh ronson where art thou?? more pics after le jumpo