Here’s Desperate Housewives star (and finally a housewife herself!) Eva Longoria looking absolutely terrific for the Russian edition of FHM. For some reason these pictures don’t look as much like Eva Longoria as previous ones we’ve seen but shit, who are we to care?

So, downity.com presents to you either Eva Longoria or someone that looks like Eva Longoria! Enjoy.

…or, as I like to title it – “Tony Parker officially luckiest bastard around”. They have finally tied the knot after being together for nearly three years and engaged since November:

The festivities were held on Saturday at the Church of Saint Germain l’Auxerrois, which was decorated with more than 1,000 flowers. Celebrity guests including Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez, Sheryl Crow, Jessica Alba, William H. Macy, and Longoria’s co-stars Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Nicolette Sheridan were on hand to witness the Desperate Housewife and her basketball champion, 25, say, “I do.”

Longoria, 32, walked down the aisle in a couture Angel Sanchez mermaid gown made of silk wool with silk metallic embroidery, a scoop back and a long train.

The hour-long service was officiated by Father Dominic Schubert, who exclusively tells Usmagazine.com, “The couple wanted a quiet church wedding and now they have been married by God.” He continued, “”They wanted proceedings to be low-key and dignified and they are extremely happy with how everything went.? We were delighted that they were able to celebrate their love in front of so many family and friends.”

After the wedding ceremony guests were driven off in buses to the reception at the Chateau of Vaux le Vicomte, a 17th century chateau outside Paris. VIP guests and family members left in grey Mercedes vans, while Eva and Tony were chauffeured in a black Rolls Royce Phantom. “The crowds of hundreds of fans outside went wild and shouted, ‘congratulations’ to them in chorus as they drove out,” an onlooker tells Us.

Congrats to the both of you. Now proceed directly to making sex tapes and churning out children so we have years more to report Eva! Oh, and Tony too, I’m sure.

eva longoria took a few minutes away from feeding me peeled grapes and massaging my massive wazoo to look absolutely blood-rushing-to-the-loins as seen below. of course, like our previous coverage of the desperate housewife, her fantastic ass is all over the damn place.

just FYI – whoever you are out there that is tapping this piece – I’d love to hear from you. as a matter of fact i’ll fork out to have your dangler bronzed and we can donate it to open a school in africa. it can be called “School Paid For By The Golden Wang Of The Man That Is Drilling The Stank Out Of Eva Longoria”. or something similar.

damn… more after the jump. that is if you have enough K-Y and stamina to make it there. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

there it is… ohh how close we came. well, i came regardless but there it is folks, eva longoria’s blessed spaces. i’m a bit bummed about it being all covered up and stuff so i’ll just leave you with pics.