David Letterman ridiculed Paris Hilton on last night’s episode of Late Night, and of course we have the video for you to watch. If only he would have stepped it up a bit!

What do you think… did she deserve it? Let us know in the comments.

For some unknown reason that we still haven’t figured out, Foo Fighters lead singer Dave Grohl has some harsh words regarding Paris Hilton. From The Sun (who else):

Apparently, one mention of the name PARIS HILTON sends the FOO FIGHTERS frontman utterly ballistic.

Dave rages: “Paris is f***ing lame.”

And, warming to his theme, he continues: “She’s more offensive to me than anything.

“She’s a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her.”

Dave and Paris fell out in spectacular style after meeting in a restaurant years ago, when Dave claims that the pampered heiress put on “the full princess attitude with the nose in the air”.

Does this guy’s band have a new album coming out or something? Why the cry for attention, Dave? I love how the ex-drummer from Nirvana (you remember them, right? the lead singer had a heroin addiction and blasted his head off with a shotgun?) is one to call anyone a “raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut”.

Dave must have forgotten that he made the video for “Low” with Jack Black – which you can see below. Here’s the video in a paragraph:

In the clip, the two can be seen checking into a motel where they film themselves consuming vast amounts of alcohol and smashing up their room, before dressing up in women’s underwear and wigs. They then engage in sexual acts, resulting in Black passing out and vomiting into the toilet.

Shit dude, you’re right. Paris is totally a bad example for your daughter! She should be following in her dad’s footsteps: getting pissed drunk, smashing up a hotel room, cross dressing, engaging in homosexual acts and then vomiting all over the place.

Good call, Dave… congrats on being a hypocritical piece of washed up shit.

The video is after the break… if you care.

p.s. We’re totally aware that this is a music video we’re referring to. Which actually makes our point even stronger. Who is Dave to judge Paris on her private life (that is made public because WE care and want to see / hear about it) when he’s making videos that will influence all sorts of young fans of the Foo Fighters? He needs to set a good example before he can shit on other people for not setting one.

For some unknown and surely retarded reason Paris Hilton has decided that next year, she wants to have a baby. Here’s a quote from Elle UK:

“I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.”

Very interesting. I also happen to be looking to “mate”. What say you give me a ring and let’s make it happen, baby. Yeeaaahhhhhh.

That is just one hell of a photoshop mashup of Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson gone wrong. Check out a whole bunch more at FreakingNews!

Paris Hilton decided to strip it off for GQ Germany and pose in the buff, and of course she looks fantastic. She has her many haters, but we like Paris and it’s great to see that she’s been a bit more careful with her life since her jail time.

Of course, seeing Paris Hilton in the buff is nothing new for most of you, but here are the pictures anyway. Enjoy!

This is just too far. If I was a female star and a pap did that to me you can be sure I would have my stiletto shoved in his eye socket before he could even blink.

I can’t believe the other paps there didn’t slap the shit out of this guy on sheer principle. It just goes to show you how unprofessional some of these idiots are. Just imagine being surrounded by 20-30 of them documenting your every move.

Blame TMZ for the pic!

Someone (that most likely wasn’t Paris Hilton) has posted the above hilarious “Lost Dog” flyer on Paris’ front gate, according to JJ:

The poster reads (in case you’re completely fucking blind, or viewing this on a mobile phone as just over 1% of our readers do):

“LOST DOG — HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

Age: 3 in dog years
Weight: Anorexic
Eyed: Dilated
Coat: Spotted/Freckled
Breed: Freckle-Bellied Cokewhore Terrier

My dog was last seen on the morning of July 24, 2007 chasing cars in Santa Monica. She will answer to the call of: Lilo, L Squared, Lo Hoe and Dime Bags, 2 for 10 dollars. She was also last seen carrying her favorite boys: a little white bag we call her “doggy bag” ad her favorite black ankle bracelet. Please come home!

MISSING

If you have any information, please call – (310) 555-NOHOPE or go to www.myspace.com/dirtyagenda

All the change in my couch will be offered for the information leading to the safe return of my dog.”

What do you want to bet with the amount of dudes climbing on top of her on the couch that Paris could find around $200 in change in there? Now if we could just find Adrien Grenier, we could find Paris to ask if she put up this poster…

Surprisingly, not authored by us. Other people are starting to notice the shrew’s shrewd ways and are picking up on it. Chas Newkey-Burden even decided to write a book entitled Paris Hilton – Life on the Edge and here’s his reasoning behind calling her a genius:

1. When she met the CEO of the Guess fashion line, she wooed him by recounting an encyclopaedic knowledge of company’s history. He signed her up on the spot. (cf: Simon Ambrose in the penultimate week of The Apprentice.)

2. Parlux Fragrances have described her as “a marketers’ dream” and estimated that by signing up her to endorse a perfume range they tripled the company’s value.

3. She got paid $1million to fly to Austria, wave at a crowd and tell them she loves Austria. “But why do you love Austria?” she was asked. “Because they pay me $1million to wave at a crowd,” she smiled. You can’t argue with that.

4. She’s lucky. When footage of her having sex leaked onto the internet, propelling her into the headlines, the silver lining was it’s timing: shortly before the debut episode of her reality television show The Simple Life.

5. She’s lucky more than once. In the week she published a book ‘written’ by her famous dog Tinkerbell, the chihuahua went missing for a few days, putting the book into the media spotlight.

6. She knows which opportunities to decline: “I turn down perverted things, like a Paris Hilton blow-up doll.” One must have one’s standards.

7. She’s lauded by other businesspeople. A successful real estate magnate – OK, her father Rick – says of her successes: “She hasn’t tried to spread herself too thin.”

8. How many other ‘dumb blondes’ have seen their book spend five weeks on the New York Times best-seller list?

9. She was reportedly recently offered $1 million by The Learning Annex to teach a 60-minute class on “How to Build Your Brand.” This would make her the second-highest paid Annex speaker, behind her friend Donald Trump.

10. She admits that she encourages people to believe she is dumb and “laughs all the way to the bank” as a result.

See that? If you think Paris Hilton is just some ditz, you’d better take a look in the mirror and see who the real dummy is. And now, for some pics of Paris leaving Opera on Tuesday night. Fun!

(source)

It’s great to see that Paris (the publicist) has come back onto the scene and gotten rid of Paris (the complete idiot). If you’ve been paying attention a while you know that while she’s always tried to appear a dunce (a move swiftly stolen from Jessica Simpson and perfected) Paris Hilton was never the buffoon that Lindsay Lohan is.

Sure, she’s been in sex tapes (she made the sex tape scandal huge, giving it new life after the Pam and Tommy fiasco died down), had a couple of relatively minor arrests, and smoked her fair share of weed. But regardless of what you may think of her, she’s very smart, savvy to the ways of Hollywood, and depending on your opinion, beautiful.

Paris’ income is set to triple this year from $7 million to $20 million simply because she’s so good at spinning everything around into a positive. And now she’s even trying to do good things, although it’s likely for you, me and the media to eat up. She’s even recently replaced her light bulbs with CFLs!! Talk about a humanitarian.

Let’s get on with this though – we have FIFTY pictures of Paris at Malibu in a range of bikinis for you to enjoy. Here’s a bunch, with a crapload more after the jump. We’d hit it. (Doublewrapped though… you just never know if that herp rumor was true)

…not that she’s going to need it. In the latest news to be filed under “Headlines about Paris / Britney / Lindsay”, it turns out that Barron Hilton, that crazy old bat that still has a sizable stake in the Hilton chain, has decided that Paris’ antics have sullied the good Hilton name to the point that he’s decided to give his money to a private foundation instead:

Hilton senior, the only member of the family left with a sizeable stake in the huge hotel chain, has let it be known that he intends to donate to charity the £1 billion he will gain from this month’s sale of the company to private equity firm Blackstone.

The money will go to the Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, the charity set up in the name of the founder of the family business. The 79-year-old patriarch is said to have told his high-living family that he is cutting Paris loose – and for good measure his other 11 grandchildren, too, none of whom will now benefit from the windfall. Instead, he is determined to carry on the family tradition for philanthropy.

“He was, and is, extremely embarrassed by how the Hilton name has been sullied by Paris,” says Jerry Oppenheimer, the author of House Of Hilton, the biography of the clan. “He doesn’t want to leave unearned wealth to his family.”

In our opinion, stated heavily while Paris was in the clink, is that she won’t need it anyway. Paris (and her mother Kathy, who guides her financially) is a marketing genius and will make a crapload of money this and every year regardless:

After her well-publicised histrionics as she was driven to jail, it now appears that a spell behind bars could be the best career move she ever made.

U.S. sources confidently predict she will quadruple the $7 million the business bible Forbes estimates she earned last year.

Funny, remember when we said this on June 10th?

Which, I might add, is what I mentioned last week. She will make an absolute shitload off of this trip to prison and she’s already owning the media left, right and center. Masterful job Pee-Hilt!

Told you so, bitches.

Update: TMZ is reporting that this inheritance thing might be a crock of shit. Check it.