“Born Survivor” star Bear Grylls is a complete pussy

July 22, 2007 | Filed Under Miscellaneous

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bear grylls is a pussy

News has emerged that the UK’s “Survival King”, 33 year old Bear Grylls, apparently is only the king of surviving the wait after dialing the numbers and having room service show up at the door. Multiple sources have come out to share that Grylls is a total pussy, having shared hotel rooms, cooked meals and all sorts of other shit with the fiming crews, etc. of the Channel 4 hit show Born Survivor. Check it:

The series, screened in March and April and watched by 1.4m viewers, built up Grylls�s credentials as a tough outdoorsman. In a question and answer session on Channel 4�s website, he recalls how station bosses pitched the venture to him stating: �We just drop you into a lot of different hellholes equipped with nothing, and you do what you have to do to survive.�

But an adviser to Born Survivor has disclosed that at one location where the adventurer claimed to be a �real life Robin-son Crusoe� trapped on �a desert island�, he was actually on an outlying part of the Hawaiian archipelago and spent nights at a motel.

On another occasion in California�s Sierra Nevada mountains where he was filmed biting off the head of a snake for breakfast and struggling for survival �with just a water bottle, a cup and a flint for making fire�, he actually slept some nights with the crew in a lodge fitted with television and internet access. The Pines Resort at Bass Lake is advertised as �a cosy getaway for families� with blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

Hopefully this doesn’t come as a shock to any of you that actually thought “Reality TV” is real. Because for the most part, IT’S NOT. Television is far too costly and important to networks to rest in the hands of a bunch of people that filled out some internet form and showed up at a casting call. While reality shows may not be fully scripted, each and every one of them has their own inconsistencies that can pretty easily be picked apart.

Or – and this might come as a shock – you could just stop watching that bullshit altogether. Get yourself a UsenetServer account, a NewzBin account and just download the good TV shows. Skip the commercials and enjoy TV the way the writers meant you to.

I highly recommend the first (and only) season of Firefly if you haven’t seen it. Who’d have thought a mix of outer-space / cowboy / western / pirate ship would be fun? But it is.

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4 Trashy Comments

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4 comments so far

roadrage July 23, 2007 12:04 am

he seriously looks like he’s dropping a hardcore coiler in this pic
Jessie July 23, 2007 8:08 pm

I’ve never even seen this. I always watched Surviorman. Then watched my physics professor try and out do Suviorman….in my class room
Zander P July 24, 2007 8:26 am

Dude, Bear Grylls is a true man, unlike you. Until the true story comes out, I won’t judge him. And that show “Firefly” sucked complete asshole, only a moron would like it.
roadrage July 24, 2007 12:13 pm

zander you’re my kind of commenter

stick around this site, you’ll fit right in around these parts