OUCH! TMZ absolutely OWNS Lindsay Lohan

July 27, 2007 | Filed Under Miscellaneous

Are you new to downity.com? If so, you can click here to subscribe to our RSS feed.

Now you can get downity.com Celebrity News and Gossip right on your Facebook profile.
Click here to add the Celebrity Gossip and News application now!

You’re going to have to hit up TMZ to see the videos since I can’t embed them here, but here’s the headline and text of the article and trust me the videos are HILARIOUS!!

Just before Lindsay Lohan was arrested early Tuesday morning, she commandeered a car and took three men hostage — this, according to the three men who were in the car with her.

(lol, it’s such a great start!! a 21 year old skinny girl takes 3 dudes hostage?? shit if Lohan tried to take me hostage I’d break both of her legs for her. but wait till you see these dudes!)

TMZ interviewed all three, and here’s the lowdown: Rewind to Monday afternoon. Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter and Ronnie Blake drove to Malibu with the boyfriend of Lindsay Lohan’s assistant. Lindsay and her assistant ran into Dante and friends. Later, the assistant text-messaged Dante, saying Lindsay wanted to invite him to a Malibu party that night.

Two of the guys were SO NERDY that she didn’t even let them into the party. So what do they do? THEY WAIT IN THE CAR!! (seriously go check out the videos)

Later, Dante says, he and his friends drove to the party. Dante and the assistant’s boyfriend were let in, but Jakon and Ronnie were rejected and stayed outside. Dante says Lindsay was never without a drink during the evening and he even did a shot with her.

At one point, Lindsay’s assistant and her boyfriend walked outside and got into an argument. Lindsay came out and got angry at her assistant. The assistant then said, “I quit,” which enraged Lindsay.

Ronnie says Lindsay looked “very messed up” and “raging.”

Dante and crew were ready to leave. The GMC Denali they were in belonged to Dante, but he was sitting in the front passenger seat. Ronnie and Jakon were in the back seat. The assistant’s boyfriend was behind the wheel. The keys were in the ignition when the assistant’s boyfriend got out and continued the argument with his girlfriend. She then got in her car and left.

According to the group, Lindsay suddenly jumped in the driver’s seat of the Denali, started the engine and began driving — chasing the assistant’s car. Ronnie says he was so fearful, he jumped out of the vehicle as it accelerated. Just as he hit the ground, he says Lindsay ran over his foot and just kept going.

Dante and Jakon say Lindsay then hit Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. Dante says he tried to grab the wheel, prompting Lindsay to say, “If you touch me I’ll sue you.” Jakon says they pleaded with her to stop.

YOU SISSIES!! “If you touch me I’ll sue you.” Hey idiots, THE BITCH STOLE YOUR FUCKING CAR! What the hell were you letting her drive it 100mph while drunk for? Too chicken to slap her around?

Dante says they were going 100 MPH. They say Lindsay caught up with the assistant and began doing circles on PCH, around the assistant’s car.

They say at one point, Lindsay boasted, “I can’t get in trouble. I’m a celebrity. I can do whatever the f**k I want.”

The now former assistant finally lost Lindsay on PCH. Dante says Lindsay thought the assistant was going to her mother’s house in Santa Monica so Lindsay went there. It just so happened that the assistant’s mother was pulling into the driveway as Lindsay arrived.

Dante says the mother panicked at Lindsay’s crazy driving, and backed out of the driveway in fear — not knowing who was behind the wheel. The guys say Lindsay then began to chase her at speeds of up to 80 MPH through Santa Monica, blowing multiple red lights.

Dante realized the mother was driving to the police station and warned Lindsay if she didn’t stop she’d get in hot water. He says Lindsay responded, “I’m a celebrity. I’m not going to get in trouble.”

The two cars stopped in a parking lot near the cop shop. When police arrived, Dante says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, “I wasn’t driving. The black kid was driving.”

Dante and Jakon say they saw Lindsay flunk the field sobriety test. They say when she tried touching her nose, she almost fell over.

As Ronnie put it “It was pretty much the worst night of my entire summer.”

Well, what a doozy. It almost makes my brain hurt but it’s just so funny. These two dudes will be humiliated for life! Waiting in the car while their friend partied with Lindsay Lohan, then letting her steal their car WITH THEM IN IT and drive at 100mph drunk down the freeway, chasing her assistant.

Gentlemen, grow some fucking balls. The next time a girl steals your car, you slap the stuffing out of her for it. Especially if she’s using the thing as a weapon while inebriated. Just kick her ass, and when they take you to court for it you can tell your story and know you were a fucking man and not a pussy!

Popularity: 4% [?]

Click to Comment